YMCA Community Services 1633 E. 4th Street, Suite 184 Santa Ana, CA 92701 714-665-1342

Volunteer Star: Nancy Ludt

When I walked into the Bereaved Parent Support Group in 1977, I had no idea how this would change my life nor the involvement that I would commit to for the next 3 decades.  Our 11-year-old son had died in a sea accident four months earlier, a heart wrenching and devastating experience.  We met together each week with 7 other parents and talked about our children, their loss and their lives.  Two years later, the volunteer facilitator was ready to retire and asked me to take over.  I put my reservations and timidity aside and decided to lead – these parents needed this group.  In 1998, the YMCA Community Services Branch (YCS) took us under their wing and since then we have never missed a weekly meeting. 

Each parent's loss is very different, even if the means of death may be the same.  In our group we have parents whose children died in car accidents, illness, murder, suicide, hiking, walking, drugs and every manner of loss possible.  But our common bond is that we each had a child who died.  It has been said that when you lose a parent, you’ve lost your past, and when you lose a child you have lost your future.  Our group's goal is to see to it that that "future" contains some peace, reconciliation, happiness, and memories which don't always cause pain. 

Many times I am told that I am doing something which deserves some recognition.  I wholeheartedly disagree - what I do as facilitator is its own reward.  As I see parents transform from grief stricken non-functioning people to those who start enjoying life and can utter their child’s name without tears or agony – this is what makes my heart swell with compassion.  Parents don't see it, but to me it's extremely apparent.  THAT is what makes me stay and offer services to continue this support group.  The reward has no boundary!

Our group meets EVERY Tuesday evening from 7-9 p.m at the YMCA of Orange County.  We meet 52 weeks a year, never taking a week off even during holiday times.  Those are the times when we are needed the most.  Stephanie Watton has been our our group’s co-facilitator for the past 9 years. She is steadfast, caring, and dedicated.   It is important to note that our group never asks for financial assistance from the parents and in fact, we don't even pass around a "hat" for donations.  People give freely when the time comes and they want to offer support.